Im back! muahahahahaha, well, i was gonna say after long, then i realised my last post was just 4-5 days ago. hahahhaa. pffft. what..... hahahahaha. i was just looking back on my life, my history, my past. again. yes, again. hahahahaha.

well, i was.....

i was always hounding for attention, looking out for someone to look out for me. never TRUELY loving someome, always waiting for someone to tell me that they loved me, and half the time it was fake attention. pfft. BGR. what is it really. some BIG thing? is it really that BIG after all? technically speaking. how long do most relationships in this time last, 1 yr at max. with the odd few exceptions. but then again, looking back, i always wanted someone's attention! well, now i have unwanted attention.

Looking at it now, i love people, and not just like them. Not for their personality, their character, their good looks, but just love them. Love, cannot be described. You just feel it. and i've been feeling alot of it nowadays. Maybe it's because i've been very loved. =] nt just by my leaders, but also by close friends.

I've really learnt to love the people around me, cliche, but yes. When i almost lost a close friend to the devil, and i didnt even know till recently. Thank God that he's back, but then looking at it, I didnt even know that he was leaving. Some kinda friend i am yeah. I almost lost him, without even knowing, and that has really shown me the phrase, cherish what you have now, for you dont know when you might loose it. That's one friend.

There's another. I wrote about him before. and it really hurts me to see him the way he is now. You dont come online anymore. You've changed. I know you feel that you've changed for the better, and i pray that you will change for the better, but you've changed. major. The energy, the life, all that use to radiate from you, is lost! you always disturb me. and i mean ALWAYS. come back. where are you? i miss the old you. the one who'll although always disturb me, will stay up with me till 4-5 to just pei me. where have you gone? please dont go into hiding. If you read my blog often enough, i think you know who you are. what happened? will you make me smile again.

I miss the old you. Both of you. really missing, meaning, it's been weird having you so far from me. i feel the pain, really. not joking, or smiling, but you really mean alot to me, friends, spiritual family, as brothers. The older brothers who always disturb the younger sisters yeah. I'll always love you, it's because of this that dont you see why i can see when you're hurt, or upset, even if you dont tell me? to me it will always be. and i dont want to loose you like i almost lost him. it hurts to loose something you love alot. and i love both of you alot.

I'm not trying to be emo, or if you think i am. but i just want YOU to realise that it's not just your leaders, sheep, ex mates or current mates who love you. People do love you.

I love you!
I love You God!