BYE!

hello hello hello. well, i see blogger is finally back to normal, after a whole season of error. well, here's to say that i am not going to be using this account much more anymore. I'll most likely be blogging at [renew-sanctuary.livejournal.com] I might come back once in a while to see who's this really nice person who'll keep by my blog. haha

see ya soon peeps! =]

You are trying desperately to prove yourself. You are going at it hammer and tongs in order to get your own way. You oppose any sort of restriction or opposition to your own point of view in the belief that this could prove you how self determined you are.You are looking for excitement and stimulation and you are ready to try anything - but be careful not to take too many risks.You are very demanding - and insisting on total involvement but you do not reciprocate with the same depth of feeling. However, it could well be that maybe an unprecedented surprise is awaiting you in the near future. For just as one whilst paddling in the sea, could flounder into a whirlpool, so you may be drawn into a loving situation that has high emotional demands - and you could well respond with a depth of emotion that you never even dreamed that you possessed.You pretend that you are a carefree individual and that nothing really bothers you - that you are so self-sufficient that whatever problems beset you they simply flow off you as water flows off a ducks back. You are experiencing considerable stress, trying to conceal yourself from the rest of the world. In actual fact - deep down, you are not at all happy. You feel lonely and you need someone with whom you can 'Let your hair down' and share your hopes, dreams and high standards. You are imposing unnecessary self restraint on yourself. You would like to demonstrate the unique quality of your character to all and sundry.At this time you don't particularly like yourself. Everything that you have tried to do seems to have gone wrong. This makes you feel that there is no point in trying to start again. Apart from being stressed and tense, you are angry with yourself and have unadmitted self-contempt. Your refusal to admit that you and you alone is the basic cause of your problems leads to you adopting a headstrong and defiant attitude. If you take stock of yourself, smile a little and let go, everything will turn out OK. Have you not heard of the cliche 'smile and the world smiles with you - cry and you cry alone!'?


ok. i really dont know how this might look to people, but i think it describe me, ok. hahaha. you can verify with me. hahahaha


http://www.paulgoldinresearch.com/cg/

take the test and find out. hahaha. pfft.

Im back! muahahahahaha, well, i was gonna say after long, then i realised my last post was just 4-5 days ago. hahahhaa. pffft. what..... hahahahaha. i was just looking back on my life, my history, my past. again. yes, again. hahahahaha.

well, i was.....

i was always hounding for attention, looking out for someone to look out for me. never TRUELY loving someome, always waiting for someone to tell me that they loved me, and half the time it was fake attention. pfft. BGR. what is it really. some BIG thing? is it really that BIG after all? technically speaking. how long do most relationships in this time last, 1 yr at max. with the odd few exceptions. but then again, looking back, i always wanted someone's attention! well, now i have unwanted attention.

Looking at it now, i love people, and not just like them. Not for their personality, their character, their good looks, but just love them. Love, cannot be described. You just feel it. and i've been feeling alot of it nowadays. Maybe it's because i've been very loved. =] nt just by my leaders, but also by close friends.

I've really learnt to love the people around me, cliche, but yes. When i almost lost a close friend to the devil, and i didnt even know till recently. Thank God that he's back, but then looking at it, I didnt even know that he was leaving. Some kinda friend i am yeah. I almost lost him, without even knowing, and that has really shown me the phrase, cherish what you have now, for you dont know when you might loose it. That's one friend.

There's another. I wrote about him before. and it really hurts me to see him the way he is now. You dont come online anymore. You've changed. I know you feel that you've changed for the better, and i pray that you will change for the better, but you've changed. major. The energy, the life, all that use to radiate from you, is lost! you always disturb me. and i mean ALWAYS. come back. where are you? i miss the old you. the one who'll although always disturb me, will stay up with me till 4-5 to just pei me. where have you gone? please dont go into hiding. If you read my blog often enough, i think you know who you are. what happened? will you make me smile again.

I miss the old you. Both of you. really missing, meaning, it's been weird having you so far from me. i feel the pain, really. not joking, or smiling, but you really mean alot to me, friends, spiritual family, as brothers. The older brothers who always disturb the younger sisters yeah. I'll always love you, it's because of this that dont you see why i can see when you're hurt, or upset, even if you dont tell me? to me it will always be. and i dont want to loose you like i almost lost him. it hurts to loose something you love alot. and i love both of you alot.

I'm not trying to be emo, or if you think i am. but i just want YOU to realise that it's not just your leaders, sheep, ex mates or current mates who love you. People do love you.

I love you!
I love You God!

I wanted to post about this for so long, and you know what, i just kept forgetting. pffft. Well, i just wanted to say that it was the first time i was ministered to, and prayed and prophesied over that Leonard wasn't there, to ask,"so how are you." He never did say how was it, nor how is it. nor so how? it was never about anything. It was always about me. He always cared about me. LEONARD!!! pfffft NS is stupid. pfffft. It took my leader so far. pffffffffffffffffffffffffft. if not he'd have been there to ask the famous 3 words again. pffft. NS stinks. pffffffffft!!

Oh yes and Eric, I know my worth. =] He died for me. =] that's what im worth. =] and Gabriel, you're skinny, not slim, and you're scrawny, not sexy. hahahaha.

pffft. pffft. pffft. I've been stuck at home. pffft. but you know what, hahahaha i studied. but then, haiz. ARGH! i have so many things to worry about.

well, i have attendance to send in. then i got to worry about one of my friends not going for his training, and all sorts of things. He's not going for trainings, not doing his usher duty properly, and it's been giving all the leaders a really big problem. goodness.. and he's this this this close to back sliding. ARGH!!! i'll pray.. and fast!

also another thing, one of my friend's grandmother just passed away. It really showed me how much you really have to appreciate life as it comes at you. Cliche, i know. but, having had 3 friends who lost family members, I've never been in that situation, but i understand what it feels like to lose someone. A song phrase, you dont know what you've got till it's gone. It really shows hoe much people dont go around appreciating things that go past in their lives. And then when you lose something, then you start crying over spilt milk, saying, oh how i miss you, when you've been quarreling with them before they left. Ever wonder how precious life is? think about this also. The next person may be you. what if? what if? dont let your family cry over your spilt milk.

Well, over the bad things going on, there's one thing that's good. =] I brought a friend to PGSM last friday, and before that, i actually managed to get him to church! haha. true, it's just a normal day in church and not even service, but im so glad that it was a weekday, and there were so many more people to integrate him. hahahahaha. Well, he asked about when people get saved, then asked how i felt when i got saved. i didnt want to elaborate, but told him, why not he come and find out for himself, and asked him to come this friday. muahahahahaha. and then he said mosst likely he will. WAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA. my God is a great God! i love you God! for being an AWESOME GOD!! he said he wanted to give christianity a try, but you know what, i know that once God touches him, there's no longer gonna be a try. =] God will always be here for you man, =] as long as you allow Him in. =] He's not going to force His way into you, but He is a gentle Spirit and He will only come when you ask Him. so, let me ask, are you willing to let him into your life? =]

My God is an awesome God.
I love my life.
I will learn to appreciate.
I LOVE YOU GOD!!!

woots, i spent saturday at home, and now im gonna spend monday all alone at home also. sian right. when i feel that i can be doing so much more. pfft. home's boring. mom wants me to study, not to take on usher, not to go to church this entire week, and not to do anything related to church. ok, if you want me to. But, i cant, coz wednesday i have runthrough, to arrange chairs, i have YA to send to yassy, thursday Im on usher!! woohoo!!

i just got transferred to Big, and i am only ushering one time this entire month!! waaaaaaaaaaaaa. pathetic. pffffft. i wanna usher more lehz jianming. i love ushering. and i will not give up ushering for anything man. woohoo!! =]

then friday, pastor Kong's seminar. saturday i'll be stuck at home again. pffffffft. then sunday. mother's day. even more PFFFFFTTT. haiz. well, you know my situation. pfft pfft pfft. and no SOW next week too!! argh. pffffffffffffffft. pffft pffft pffft.

I love church alot. i will not give it up. expecially when i am "this" close. PREACH! ok pastor. yes, i heard you. and thanks roy. i understand where i stand, hmmm, special kids in church. =] even more challenging. wooo. hahaha. thanks for planting the idea in my head. =]

I love my leaders! =]

Hi everyone I'm back home, after a super long day. I was up around 8+9, to shower, yada yada, to go for an early mother's day dinner with my grandma. Followed by admin in church before service, service, meeting with Jian Ming, meeting with Roy, followed back to back, with a meeting with fifi and Garrett for Pastor Kong's seminar, and followed by a runthrough, well more like many run throughs.

Wow, God is truly accelerating me. More than that, what I want to talk about is what went on during service.

I had been using my strengths too much, making alot of it my pride. I've not been calling out to God, not using his strengths. However, as they sang alleluia to Christ the Lord during service, the presence of God came, and He told me this, stop thinking about everyone around you, and worship me. For since very long, I worshiped. This feeling like never before. wow! and we had an alter call, where Pastor prayed for the leaders, and soon to be leaders. I hesitated. yes, I did. I hesitated, wondering if I was ready, and God spoke saying, if you want to be a leader, why are you still standing here? So , here goes. As pastor Lia prayed over me, all she said was, "Preach! you are going to preach! PREACH!![prodded me in the stomach and yelled] LOVE! PREACH!" as we sang hallelujah, there were no tears. none whatsoever. but as soon as she touched my forehead, I felt all weight leave me. There was no weight, not meaning the kind where you have weight on shoulders, but literally, there was no mass in me. I felt myself, falling against pastor's arm around me, yet I couldn't feel myself. There was nothing in me. I just had a revelation, it says that everything of mine, God can take away. WOW! well, as she touched me, tears came thick and fast. as I fell, I felt ushers catching me, yes, yet there was no feeling in me, all I know was I was sobbing, and crying. For the first time since long when I got prayed for by Pastor Lia, I truly, 100% fell under the presence of God, I have been washed and cleansed. PREACH! LOVE!!!

preach? I never saw myself there before. and as I was talking to Roy after that, he shared about his life, and as he shared, it made me see mine, of whether I was heading in the right direction? well, he did say, not to give up my dreams of working with special children, but to instead looking at it in an overseas perspective, would I ever consider working in church, with special children who might in turn also come to church in the future? I never looked at it from that angle before, and after he said that, things showed a clearer picture. God is indeed changing and accelerating me, from being a nobody since young, I am someone now.

Even at home, where I was always no body, treated wrongly, Eric helped me see, that hey, God still loves you, and that even if I cant do something at home, I can do something for God. Leonard helped me see, that there was someone deep down inside, worthy of something. Roy showed me that, no matter how busy the leaders are, their first main concern is about people. Thank you for showing me all this love and care.

I love my God, I will rise up in usher, and I will be someone of worth.

Thank you leaders! =]

Emo-ism.

Hello everyone. I am today at home, missing my service, due to the surboordinates in singapore. [note to self, never bring surboordinates into sgp from overseas during weekends] Well, he's my dad surboordinate, and it's because of this, I'm here at home, missing my service, and thus able to blog. However, comparatively, I'd rather be at service then at home blogging. Well, I am a litle down, by someone, and i really miss some people.

Green pangs hit hard at the heart after yesterday night. Is it or is it not? Does it or does it not? Yes or No? or am i just being over demanding? and then again. will it ever be? Just because....... But am i going to go over somewhere else, where there's nothing to hurt there? where there's a lot of jokes, and friendship going around? then isn't that being unfair to whichever whoever?

I want to leave. Leaving this greenery behind. Heart of God church, please don't worry It's not you im leaving. But then again. To go somewhere no other has stepped, do i really want to achieve what no one else has reaped? In this case, is it that good? God, take away this foolishness, this nonsense, this hurt, and this paranoid thinkings.

I sound emo. Maybe it's because I am. no no no no no. I am not. hahahaha. because Leonard says that if i get emo and fall into depression, hell freezes over. hahahahahahahahaha. well, truth be told, we all have our bad days, [darn, mine seems like a bad week.] no no no no no. I'm not emo just sleepy i guess.

If you're reading this, you wonder why am i deluding myself, and you're saying that i should just emo myself away? Well, here's to you. I am a child of God. So if you think i'm deluding myself, it's atually the devill trying to make me fall into his trap. Well, i may have put half a leg in, but you know what, I'll take my leg out. I know i can pull it out.

Well, cheers to my first emo post. stop thinking about it. Gabriel i need good cheer. =]It's been great to have a friend like you Gabriel, appreciate it! =] Thanks for everything. =] even if...... hahahahahahaha =]

argh.

I am very bored. I am very tired. I am very tired. I am very stressed.

Baby i need someone to love me.

OK!! I SOUND EMO!! STOP!!!!!

hahahahahaha. well, i am tired, and stressed. But well, i know there'll people who love me! I know of someone who'll call me, just to hear me sing good night. I know of someone who yells at me to tell me I LOVE YOU! I know of someone who'll curse me as a friend. I know of someone who's there to always "wonder". I know of someone who always disturbs me. I know of someone who brings me out. Well, what do you know. People love me. So, I am loved. Very loved in fact. =] hahahahahahahahahaha.

Thank you everyone who loves me! =]

Thank you God for loving me.

accelerate

I am accelerating with God in me. Use me lord. To impact souls and change lives! I love you God, my Saviour and Lord!

busy busy!!

Chiong arhz!!!! I have CG admin for Pastor Kong and this weekend's service! woohoo. exciting man. hahahahahahaha. I never realised i love Admin so much. hahahahahaha. Like Leonard told me before, Admin's about loving people. hahahahahahahahahahaha. ok. i think i love people enough to take this up. hahahahahahahaha.

Exciting man. How i can do all this, and still do well in school, though i havent gone for a long time. hahahahahahahaha. woots, you didnt see that. hahahahahahahahaha. and people have been telling me, the H and A keys on my laptop are going to spoil soon. hahahahahahahahaha. i think so too!! hahahahahahahaha. but...... but, but........ i like to laugh... [burst into tears!] waaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa. hahahahahahahahahaha. it's an expression ok. i like to laugh, so i got to let you see, if not hear me laugh can. hahahahahahaha

Gabriel! i dont believe he[not gabriel?! but to gab, you know who we're talking about.] likes me. hahahahahahahahaha. and hor, you dont anyhow wonder wonder hor. hahahahahahahahahahaha. and it's your com thats slow, and laggy. GABRIEL'S NEW LAPTOP IS SLOW AND LAGGY! hahahahahahahaha. it's you, you, you! hahahahahaha. and stop wondering! and dont smile to yourself when you reading this sia. I'll kill you. hahahahahahahahahaha.


Agnetta is getting disturbed by Gabriel.. stop it gabriel.
Agnetta is feeling alot better already.
Agnetta is busy! happily busy! =]
Agnetta loves God!
Agnetta love hoGc! =]

May!

I've been in church exactly eight months! wow. EIGHT MONTHS!! wow, when i first stepped into hoGc, i never knew I'd stay for so long. When i first came into hoGc, i never expected to be who i am today Even before, i wasn't able to be there 100%. but now, here i am today. I LOVE HEART OF GOD CHURCH!!

wow. lookie here man, I'm CG admin, and i'm doing alot of things. But i still love doing it man! woohoo!!! i love you peeps super alot. especially my Ninifwred.

Oh and yes, i must must post about someone!!

Gabriel!!!!!! i miss you!! ok not in that kinda sense but yeah. really miss you man, all the crapping with you. I think we both got caught up in doing loads of stuff, and really didnt communicate other than over it. But really had great fun catching up with you again, especially over our worship team jokes. hahahaha. =] and dont be jealous la. i posted about him so long i post abt you now k. hahahahahahahahaha. you make me smile you know. =] sincerely. =] But be more light hearted lehz. it's been really long since you've came up to me to mess my hair. [not saying i want you to do that] but yeah. dont be too caught up k =] relax man. =] You're really fun to be with. =] You're gonna go places man!! [and you'd better bring me along] hahahahahahahahahahahahahaha =]

Ok , there's actually alot more things i want to say, but there's certain thing i will not post. so yeah. going on. =]

I really love it in church. Let me give you an example. when i left house today, i was super tired before that, and so i left in a pretty down kinda mood, the moment i reached the road, i started smiling, and thinking to myself, "I'm going to church!" hahahahahahhaa. and it's not the first time i've smiled to church. =] I love my church. And when we shift to paya lebar. [laughing now (sorry but there's something abt the new premise that makes me laugh) hahahaha] I love my church, and i think everyone can see that now. hahahahahahaha. I LOVE MY CHURCH!!!

Anyway, if you're wondering why i was so problematic ytd, and my nick was super emo, it was because i had a few truffles with my parents. So, yeah, thanks eric,I'm much better now. I can still go out and buy thing back for them before i reach home sia. I've changed!!! God is indeed a God of miracles!!

I LOVE YOU GOD!!!!!

I love my God.

Gabriel, you're a great guy, and you're missed.

Thanks Eric. =]

I love my Ninifwred.

CG admin's fun! =]

adminstration's fun if you see the love behind it. =]

I love spending time with my hoGc peeps.=]

Random Junk

Dessert at bugis there is yummy.

I need to stare at someone!!

I am CG admin, and i chionged a database and completed it with wonder today.

I cleaned keyboards and fixed keys back with Elgin Maniam and Kinnon and fixed that puzzle.

I can do all things with God in me!

I love you God!

my use to be-s

This is not gonna be like my other posts, it'll take you on a look back at why I am who I am today.

Looking back on how I was, when this blog was started, it was a place for my continuous ranting of hatred for my school, and I mean, school as in everything about it. I was a total mailto:b%25@$h, and I mean B. I was an emo kid, even to the extent of at times being called an ASK, anti social kid. I was horrible, and this blog was where I’d rant at myself for long.

Then as time passes and people change, this blog became a place where I came to heal. I dropped some of my hurts of people here, however, my stupidity led me to leave names of the targeted people I was writing about. I blogged about everything, and anything, of how people treated me, and how selfish I was, looking back at that those posts. but still I refused to face reality and realise that the problem was me, and not them.

So from the anti social kid, I became the problem kid. But as we all know, if God can take Rahab, a prostitute, and make her a hero in the bible, as she saved the spies who went into Jericho, He can make a miracle in everybody if we'd just believe yeah?

So, here I am today. Standing here, proud to call myself, a child of God, a living testimony to those out there, proof that He can do something with someone like me. God is a great God. Amen

So down to today. I'm stressed!! I have alot of things to do, alot of things to worry about!! alot of things to take care of!! and I have been offered a position that I have taken up. EXTRA WORKLOAD!! and I have a meeting with one of my leaders, and I have no idea why. EXTRA STRESS!! and for all these situations I am in, God only has one word for me. guess what,, one word. ONE!! it's

PRAY.

I've been relying on my own strength. I've been fearing too much, being too selfish. I've become a thermometer though I used to be a thermostat. and why? because I didn’t,

Pray hard.

wow. as we stood there, for ten minutes, I prayed, and I mean prayed. I prayed like I never did before.!!

and then, after dinner, extra reason to stress. As we all know, I came from a Buddhist organization. I was the problem kid there, and as I became more involved in God's house, a friend from there came to hoGc. so, we have one. today, I received word that we may have two! to me it was extra stress, extra work that I didn’t not want to inflict on myself. I was selfish. and then.... as I remembered this year's vision.

ACCELERATE.

God is not testing me, and no he's not stressing me, and no. he's not worrying me. He, is accelerating me! CG admin? can. do more in integrating them? sure. like Leonard said, one day the organization will close down la. from one to two to twelve, one day, the organization will close down.

Today pastor preached on Faith. We must have faith, in everything we do. But, faith without works is dead. Now it's my turn to realise that I cant rule the world. But I can impact it, with God's glory.

Remember in a few posts ago, I spoke of someone who seems to totally hate me? well, it's some one I haven’t really known long. but why I feel that she hates me, is because I’m gonna be someone she cannot be. She used to frequent a church, two yrs back, and she was even named evangelist of the year. but, she didn't rise up to be anybody during the time that she was there. and she complained to me before, “I stay there so long, bring so many friends, and yet nv get any recognition, stay for what?" then I realised. she wasn't living for God, and hence, she could never rise up. She lived it for her glory, and not God's. She had no faith in God, only in herself[pretty much like me eh.]

But I am different. I will be different! I will make a difference! I will stand for God starting NOW! I will hold my ground, and be a thermostat. I will worship my God, for he is my lord and savior. For tonight, he has made me someone, that I never imagined I could be. Now and forever God, I am yours.

there's a particular song’s lyrics, a love song, but this time round, look at I from a different view yeah?

Nothing's gonna change my love for you You ought know by now how much I love you The world may change my whole life through But nothing's gonna change my love for you

If the road ahead is not so easy, Our love will lead the way for us Like a guiding star I'll be there for you if you should need me You don't have to change a thing I love you just the way you are So come with me and share the view I'll help you see forever too

It seems as if He's singing to us, that He'll always love us, and "nothing CAN change His love for us." and how our road is not easy, but He is our guiding star, and He's always there for us if we need him. He doesn't want us to change, He loves us just the way we are.[this is my beloved child in whom I am well pleased.]

I no long need to worry about whether someone loves me or not. He died for me on a cross, the least I can do, is give my life as my offering to him.

Thank You God, my faith in you renewed, my courage and strength replenished. I will take up CG admin, and I will meet with my leader with an open heart, and if I’m gonna be wrong about something, then I will accept responsibility and the consequences if I’ve made mistakes.

I love You God.

Thanks for everything Eric.
Leonard, welcome back, and you look super farny!!
I miss Charleston! [he's in field camp now.]
I miss pastor Lia, and some leaders. [They're in Sydney.]
We need a new church premise!!!!!
I have a craving for pasta. Anyone?
I love You God!!

Create your own Friend Test here

woohoo.

I did not call coz i was a sleep. and you didnt pick up when i called.

hahahahahaha.

Yan said i have 188 ha's in my previous.

hahahahahahahahahahaha.

i think there were more Yan in my other posts.

hahahahahahahaha.

or maybe i was just very happy ytd night.

hahahahahahaha.

Aand i still cant stand going to school! argh.

"Accept responsiblilty for you action,

and the consequences it comes with, when you play the games you shouldn't."

I love my God! =]

boo! guess who! =]

"You have a very nice voice to talk to."

HAHAHAHAHA.

imagine. someone told me that. goodness.

that's it! hahahaha. that's gonna be the last time i talk to you before you go to sleep man. hahahaha.

madness. hahahahaha. i cant stop laughing. goodness.

i think talking to you before you sleep makes you a little crazy. hahahaha.

Make me say good night to you HOW MANY TIMES! before you're satisfied? hahahaha.

hmph. make me say so many times. hahahaha.

then you never say somemore!

hahahahahaha.

and yes i did dream of you after you told me to dream of you! haha.

grrrrz. hahahahaha.

we should stop talking before we go to sleep. hahahaha.

not as in literally before we sleep coz obviously to some poor idiots who dont understand two sided english languages, this is meant by the fact, we do not talk before bed time.

understand kids?

HAHAHAHAHAHA.oooooooh I'm mean. hahahahahaha.

and i can be a pre school teacher.

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA.

gabriel will laugh reading this.

hahahahaha.

and i can predict his answer.

"No problem de. you blend straight in."

back to the talking topic. hahaha.

that's it. we talk in the morning.

hahahahahahahaha.

which reminds me.

You wanted me to call you in the morning why?

hahahahahahahahaha.

So that you can hear me talk?!?!?!?!?!?

grrrrrr. hahahahahaha.

i feel like yelling your name out loud!

hahahahahahaha.

but to save myself from......

hahahahahahaha.

you know who you are. hahahahahahahaha.

imagine.

he wakes up at 7. i wake up at 7.30.

hahahahahahaha.

he wants me to call him when i wake up, so i can talk to him,

so that he can hear me.

hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahah.

can anyone guess now? hahahahaha.

guessed who yet? hahahahaha.

well, hahahaha, KEEP GUESSING. coz i'm not telling. hahahaha.

but well, it does give me incentive to wake up, though i might not want to go to school.

hahahahaha.

so well, let's start the day right, and call you.

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA.

i feel that school will be great.

hahahahahahahahaha..

still no idea?

hahahaha.

well..............................

keep guessing.

haha.

Agnetta talked long tonight.

Agnetta is sick.

Agnetta has to wake up early to call someone tml morning.

Agnetta has a nice voice to talk to...?

Agnetta had no physic tests today.

Agnetta is renewed.

Agnetta is not long stagnant.

Agnetta is a thermostat.

Agnetta loves her for He loves her the way she is.

Agnetta does not need to fake her way into people's lives.

Agnetta loves her King and Saviour.

I love you Lord!

Never ever try me.

If you think trying me is fun, let me tell you first, it's not. If you think insulting me is ok, i'll tell you to a certain extent it is. If you think insulting my Lord, King, and Saviour is a joke, and it's something you can make a joke out of, just wait and see how He can make you a joke.

Just because we're not the same, doesn't mean it gives you the right to disrespect me or my faith. You say things just because you FEEL like saying it, never giving two hoots about the receiving person, never knowing if it might just make or break a relationship you share.

You feel like saying it, so you do. That bluntness, and honesty might have came better through someone elses mouth, but for you, let's just say you fail, not even with an F, it's a pure ZERO! ok, well, if it'll be any condolence for you, i'll give you a one. Coming from someone else, say Leonard, with a discipleship, i'll take it, and know what to do regarding it. Let's say from someone else like Gabriel, saying why bother for even talking to you, I'll take that serious on my advice radar, and really see why i should even have bothered with you in the first place.

This bluntless from you is not the honesty any girl with my calibre would accept. But, no worries, there's always a but, just this time round, it's not a good but for you. BUT...... it is a tactlessness that girls would hate you for. Although some girls may like honesty, definately more than your never ending yes-es, let me just tell you, from someone with truckloads of experience regarding the "honesty" it's gonna no wait, it WILL, turn any girl off.

So, no point in trying to get close to me anymore. I know everyone deserves a second chance. No worries, you're allowed the chance to knock on my door, just whether or not, i will open it to you again. You lost you chance through your tact, of lack thereof, and it's not easy to win me over.

You say i remind you of her. You say she might not like me. You say you dont believe in what i lay my trust in.

He made me who i am today. He loved me for me, loves me for me, and i'm sure he'll alwayys love me for me. And here i stand today, perfect in any way, and every single way. So if you don't like me, for being real, and you're angry at me for you not being able to be REAL, and you have to be someone you're not, then please, get youself a life, and stop living someone else's life. Stop trying to be someone you're not, when He has made you perfect in every single way, for He never makes mistakes.

Dont try to win me back over, for it wont work again. I gave you a first chance, and you threw it down the drain.

So, let me repeat, insult me, but not my faith. Test me, but never my King.

Agnetta is being insulted.

Agnetta is proud to be REAL.

Agnetta should push tighter, harder.

Agnetta is leading games tml.

Agnetta always misses people.

Agnetta misses a discipleship.[though i feel one coming up]

Agnetta is sick.

Agnetta will not accept from Eric.

Agnetta miss Leonard and Charleston.

Agnetta loves her Saviour, and nothing in this world, can take Him away from her.

I love you God.

Team SAJC.

YOU GUYS BETTER WIN THIS YEAR'S CHAMPIONSHIP! with Jeremy Ong leading you to infinity and beyond.

IJ, CJ, AJ and TJ. 3-0, 2-0, 4-1. 3-0. WELL DONE GUYS. =]

I owe it to them.

Leonard, one i cannot do without, even though discipleships are harsh, it's for my own good. THANK YOU LEONARD!

Charleston, that smile that brightens up any sad day, the smile that can win a war without weapons.

Thank you leaders. =] for being the motivation and inspiration.

God, HELP.

THE baseline of all prayers, and these prayers include mine. God, thank you for the net you've brought me to, the safety net you've provided for me, and this presence you've given me, that no one else can give.
This net of HEART OF GOD CHURCH, one that no one could have ever given, no one could ever provide, and this undying love you've shown is one no one can beat, for you've died on the cross for my sins. Thank you Father.

If you're wondering what's with the emo start, I am having problems now. This is a stoopeed situation, and it's taking alot out of me now. My family can afford a new van, so now we have 4 vehicles, with only one driver in Singapore to drive them. But with 4 vehicles, my parents cannot afford to increase my allowance, even after showing them that hey, $300 is just not enough.

Calculating, I've to spend at least $200 on transport. that's on ezlink card alone. that leaves me $100 to spend on food, and cab fare. Now you know my situation. I'm not expecting you to understand, i just dont think you should judge me, from what you see. And no Eric, i will not borrow. i hate that feeling, and i will not borrow.

That is also why, i cannot do without people like Uncle Chen, Leonard, and Yassy. These people have been here for me, listening to what i have to rant on and on about.

Ricky chen, thanks for listening to me rant on, and all the advice. Though you always bully shermaine, you're still a nice guy. =] thanks. and still no i wont borrow.

Yassy, thanks for telling me to be a kid. I dont see how that can be achievable. I've always been the kid doing the adults job. If you want the adults to take back their job, it might prove alittle difficult for them. But, I'm still doing what i have to do, regardless of anything, but thanks for being there.

Leonard, though you WERE suppose to be sleeping, thank you for listening to me cry out all that i had to give. I didn't call you just to be accountable to you, but also the fact that you've always been there for me, and thank you. for all that you've given. Thank you for the concern, even though you're one of those busiest people. [even when you're suppose to be sleeping in camp] You went all out, like you've always done for me, so, thank you.

Gabriel, I'm considering your opinions of blowing up the new van.

Agnetta misses Leonard.
Agnetta misses Leonard's discipleship.
Agnetta needs a allowance raise.
Agnetta is broke, in debt, and has 3o cents to last the entire month left.
Agnetta is considering Gabriel's idea of blowing up the new van.
Agnetta, hasn't been a kid in a many a long years.
Agnetta feels better after talking to Eric.
Agnetta feels more comforted talking to Leonard.
Agnetta is thinking of Charleston's smile which has brighten up half her night.

Agnetta Loves.

WOWIE!!

I thought my photography and self image got better. and i could photo whore better. perhaps, i'd just not taken enough self shots to realise that i couldn't relly take myself, without my owe thinking i look like an idiot. but here's my best shot at self photography. hahahahaha.

If you think that's good, to me by my standard yes. but then with people like Eric around. hahahahaha. snapping me without me knowing. Impromtu shots look really great. they really capture a person. The Real person that is inside that is shown. I know Eric, the models are paid to portray, but they can never be real enough for me to say. So, i think i look real enough in this photo. =] thank you Eric. =]

My discouragement.

It's been long since i posted. It was hard, getting over the emotism stage, and the discouragement, and depresssion, but you know what I'm back! and im staying the way i am. I doubt if the dicpleship was THE cause of the problem, but perhaps it was. I really dont know as i'm generally ok with it, but. goodness. So, we managed to talk it over, hahahahaha. I thought i was going through alot, but perhaps, maybe... well, i cant really pinpoint the fault on anybody, but really, i think it was also my fault. To stop doing so much, and to stop putting so muc responsibility on myself.[Eric's words] Maybe it's just coz i didnt turn to a particular someone for help. Now, it's time to change. To not rely on myself anymore. It's time to rely on God, where He is limitless where i am limited. To tap onto his strength, my honour to be used in his glory. Thanks Eric! =]

Agnetta will beat Gabriel at hungry hippos.

Thank you for eveything Eric! =]

[Father, ThankYou, for allowing me back into your embrace, that love and mercy.Nothing can take me away from You, and let Nothing take me away from what You want Me to do.]

(it might not be the best shot, but at least I'm glad that i have a friend like you.)

Shockingly true. Read it and weep.

I picked this off of a bulletin of a friend on friendster. As a fellow sibling in christ, I found this shockingly true, much as i dont want to abmit it. Read it, and i sincerely hope that it'll actually bring you the revelation of how you might have strayed from God, even without you knowing.

“I tell you the truth, you will weep and mourn while the world rejoices.You will grieve, but your grief will turn to joy. A woman giving birth to a child has pain because her time has come; but when her baby is born she forgets the anguish because of her joy that a child is born into the world.So with you: Now is your time of grief, but I will see you again and you will rejoice, and no one will takeaway your joy.” (John 16:20-22 NIV)

Worship/Fellowship — There are somedays when, frankly, I don’t feel muchlike worshiping God. There are probably more days like that than I’dcare to admit.

But usually those are days are whenI’m staring at my circumstances and making faithless judgments about whatI see around me. And I struggle withthe God-truth that he is in the circumstances that surround my life –all the circumstances.

Have you ever considered that heartbreak is part of God’s plans foryou, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and afuture”? (Jeremiah 29:11 NIV) We put so much energy into avoiding the hurt when God would have us embrace it. He wants us to know that he can heal our hurts, even use our hurts for his benefit, and for us to faithfully believe that sometimes the circumstances we think are harming us are actually positive situations God is engineering.

God, who is omnipotent, sees the breadth and depth of our circumstances, and he knows his plans for our lives. Thinking, then, like Christ, we can slowly, ever so slowly,begin to understand that avoiding the pain in our lives is actually an actof faithlessness. God calls us to faith in him during difficult circumstances; we’d rather place our faith in avoiding the circumstances.

As always, Jesus shows us the way –because he is the Way. Jesus embracedthe pain of God’s plan for his life,and he did it with full faith that God was still working the plan to bring a “hope and a future” to your life and mine. (Jeremiah 29:11 NIV) Christ was so sure that his grief would turn to joy that he showed a radiant certainty in God’s faithfulness (“Radiantcertainty” is a phrase William Barclayuses to describe the attitude of Jesusat the Last Supper).

Our Brother Jesus, who is also ourKing, was heading into a crisis that would cost him His life, yet He was so certain – radiantly certain – of God’sfaithfulness that not one of his disciples even discerned the gravityof the crisis! Jesus was so certain of God’s faithfulness that it radiates throughout his whole being.

And we, too, can have this radiant certainty about God’s hand in ourl ives. We can say, when it comes to God’s faithfulness, “I know because Iknow that I know.” That’s radiant certainty! The Cross was Christ’sglory, not His penalty – and the sameis true of difficult circumstances inour lives.

So what?

• God’s faithful character - You willdevelop this radiant certainty in Godwhen you learn to trust in hisfaithful character. Your daily worshipof God is irrevocably tied to yourfaith in God.• Praise God anyhow - You must choose to praise and worship God every day,no matter what the circumstances ofyour life. Developing a radiantcertainty in God begins with simplesteps of faith and obedience.

• Respond to God, not your circumstances - When faced with apainful or difficult circumstance, askGod, “How do you want me to respond tothis?” Keep your eyes wise forthe ‘Why me?’ traps that lay aboutyour circumstances.You can be radiantly certain of this:Difficult circumstances areopportunities for you to intentionally focus your faith in God and to seewhat he will do to give you hope andhealing.

You can be radiantly certain of this:Difficult circumstances areopportunities for you to intentionallyfocus your faith in God and to seewhat he will do to give you hope and healing.

Random

I miss someone. I miss that look he has when he has something important on his mind. I miss that special attention he gives when talking to people individually. I miss that smile upon his lips, that never seem to fade.

In short, I MISS CHARLESTON!!

hahahahahahahahaha. what were you guys thinking arhz? hahahahaha.

Agnetta misses people today.

Agnetta is tired.

Agnetta will win Gabriel Lee at hungry hippos.

EQ? haha

Your EQ is 160

50 or less: Thanks for answering honestly. Now get yourself a shrink, quick!51-70: When it comes to understanding human emotions, you'd have better luck understanding Chinese.71-90: You've got more emotional intelligence than the average frat boy. Barely.91-110: You're average. It's easy to predict how you'll react to things. But anyone could have guessed that.111-130: You usually have it going on emotionally, but roadblocks tend to land you on your butt.131-150: You are remarkable when it comes to relating with others. Only the biggest losers get under your skin.150+: Two possibilities - you've either out "Dr. Phil-ed" Dr. Phil... or you're a dirty liar.

What's" Your EQ (Emotional Intelligence Quotient)?

Gabriel, here's for you.

Firstly, to Gabriel, here's the the post to you, so stop complaining that i dont update!! hahaz. and stop bullying me you monkey!! dont throw your bananas at me la. just eat them la you. and no nuts either i telll you. and im not going to die, coz you cant kill me. B L E H!!!!! HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA.

hahaz. well, this post is really about school. imagine, it was just a few months back that we finished our O lvls and walked out of the school gate screaming it's over!! then next came the JAE results. then the posting. imagine, where DID all the time fly to? i imagned the 3months to crawl by, yet, look, and it's gone. so here i am stuck in MI [but that's a story for later.]

grr. hhaaz. i seem to always chop my stories half way. sorry to those reading, coz i am usually chased off, or i just get bored. usually the latter.


Well, cant really rmb much, well, also due to the fact that im lazy to think, but the most recent thing that happened is IGNITE YOUTH CONFERENCE!!!

just gonna copyright this from Gabriel's blog, [I've gotta pay him more more than 5 cents for this{hoGc if you understand please dont laugh out loud, laugh out really loud k.} haha]

10 things I learnt and was impacted from Ignite Conference 2007:-
1) To love God more, depend and rely more on Him
2) To love my pastors and leaders more, I'm more grateful to have great leaders like them
3) To rise and and be a great youth leader for God
4) To love others more, especially my sheep
5) To put myself in the shoes of others
6) To be excellent in everything I do for God, do my best in all that I have now
7) To have more faith and be confident of who I am in God's eyes
8) To stand and be bold, not to be intimidated and influenced by what isn't right
9) To appreciate the friends I have in church more
10) To know that there is no place like home

(:Reading between the lines... ((:

Gabriel, you're monkey and always will be a monkey.

But here's my ten things i've learnt:

1) Love my God more, for he is always there, even when you're in doubt.
2) Do not try and be a sales person. I will never succeed, neither will i succeed in getting t-shirts with the phrase more attached to it.
3) To appreciate our Pastors and Leaders, who have been with us all the way.
4) To appreciate what our pastors and leaders have taught us, knowing that they've come a long way to train us to be the cream of the crop.
5) To really rise up in usher and not let what we saw there make us contented with how we're doing already, but to really strive harder and know that we're really gonna be capable of being THE cream of the crop.
6) To give all my best to him, and to hold firm and stand strong.
7) To understand that I'm loved, no matter how far He might seem from me.
8) To stand firm and strong in what i believe in, and in this case, it's God!!
9) To really love the friends I've made in church, Kinonn, Gabriel, Leonard, and their just being there for me.
10) [this will be similar to Gabriel's] Knowing that there's no place like home!!


Well, i sort of had high expectations of Ignite, when info about Ignite came out and people were signing up for it. So, i signed up for it. I wanted to be there, but, so pathetically, i was the only person from my CG to attend all 3 days, other than Leonard, who was on Hospi cum EC. though not supposed to be any of the latter. The first night i was there, and as i walked into the cathedral grounds, i was massively disappointed. not, because the building was old, not because the place was difficult to get to. No, it was none of that. you wanna know what was the first thing that turned me off? TRAFFIC USHERS!! well, i know it might not mean alot to most of you, but, as a Heart of God usher, to me, it means alot. Firstly, you do not ever put 2 traffic ushers in the same spot!! YOU DONT NEED 2 TRAFFIC USHERS STANDING IN THE MIDDLE OF THE ROAD!! especially when they're not even doing theire work and are talking amongst each other. Sermon that night was great though, however, with their first impression cum traffic team already failed, needless to say, traffic team in auditorium fare none better than those in the middle of the road, trying to be super heroes. HOGC was seperated into tiny groups all over. grr. irritating. so left with Me, Pam, Joanne, and Gerald in the middle of no where, with Chek Yao and some guys a couple of rows in front, and E zone a couple more rows behind. So, here comes tricky part. we as HOGC are used to answering pastors. hence, after not long, we were named th WOW church grrr. trying to be sarcastic eh? at least my pastors know im alive!! So, having been seperated, i was the only person from my area to shout wow, as Pam and Joanne were pretty tired. and people started looking at me. at least i answer my pastors, letting them know that i;m paying attention to what they're saying. there was this super annoyting group of people infron and behind of the 4 of us who were passing sweets from the front to the back, what in the world are you here for, not just that, they were talking. are you here for a conference or here to talk? if you wanna talk get out man. grr.

Second day morning!! hoGc was playing!! hahaz. all the HOGC youth rushed down to scream yell and cheer for our band!! those who are not that fond of jumping, made the extra effort to jump and support our band, and those like Kinonn and Gabriel who are the normal kind got super hyper. I know for one, Gabby was jumping sky high!!! woohoo!! hahaz. going mad. hahaz. Sermon by Pastor Pat was different, and as pastors and youth leaders laid hands on people, they started falling under the power of the holy spirit and crashing to the fall. likewise, topic goes back to ignite ushers. where were they? in front trying to get laid hands on. WHAT ABOUT THOSE PEOPLE FALLING DOWN!! where's your servant heartedness?? where's your caring about others? grrr. i saw a youth leader, guy, laying a girl down. I'm sure all HOGC see the wrong here. guy, girl. Youth pastor laying girl down. grr. to the extent that our own ushers initiaed themselves, like Sweet, who went around catching people. running around. imagine. after service, we went for lunch, went for lunch with B zone guys, kinonn, eric, melvin, zi ang. hahaz. Eric really showed me a totally diff side of him from what i knew. wow. hahaz. so we went back for Pastor Lia's session on Relationships. hahaz. [rolls eyes] hahaz. imagine, majority of the HOGC ppl are late. after that, got yelled at for going to Ignite. grr. then went fot the night session. the ushers there were being rude, and refused to open section C for us, as pastors wanted us to sit together. imagine closing 2 sections and trying to fit 1500 ppl into the space that can only fit 500. madness. so, when the opened section C, it took us some time to shift from section B to C. after that, Sab and i went around, initiating our a couple more of ushers to settle Our people down as during our normal services. Miracle. HOGC got settled down in less than 2 mins. amazing. this is the times when you think that HOGC is a divided, and here's when you see them come together as ONE CHURCH. The night session was a totally different experience, very weird, and just not something that any HOGC would be used to. It wasnt with the flow of what we're used to.

Last day of ignite. this time round, i only went for the last session. like wise, ushers were bad, as per usual, and well, sermon was awesome though. this is the last straw i think for any HOGC usher. as pastors and leaders went forward to get prayed for, we were asked to form lines behind our pastors. and as both our pastors werent' there, we decided to give the rest the space we needed. then next thing i knew, i was being pushed back, and i saw miaow guan pushing chairs back. i knew that there must be people on the floor already. so, i must say, this is the first time, i really went forward and did anything. well, maybe it's also coz i was infront. i was shifting books and bags, as i couldn't shift chairs. then we all stepped back. i was also asked to try and catch some of the girls, who were not from our church, as our male ushers could only catch the girls from HOGC. and you know what? the girl i was suppose to catch was taller than me. then again. where's ignite's ushers? why are WE catching THE congregation? our ushers initiated themselves, our church took the first leap forward. then they had some extra praises at the end of everything. repeat: praise songs. then let me ask: who jumps during the part of the song king of majesty that goes [king of majesty i have one desire] WHO JUMPS? a coupla us were just muttering to each other, they're just going crazy, treating this place like a disco. well, we exited fast, but thea was injured, so had to bring her back. and, THAT THE END OF IGNITE!!!! hahaz.

and here's to say, WE'RE GOING BACK TO DHOBY GHAUT FTMS HOUSE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! home sweet home!!! Im just gonna say, if this affected you, drop a comment, and not a tag. come direct to me, if you have any problems with this. in any case, it's my blog, my freedom of sppech. if you're not happy with me, you can always look for me..


To kinonn, Eric, Leonard and Gabby.
Thanks.


Agnetta.
140307

i miss you!!

it's been 2 full weeks since i last posted. coz it's been 2 reports. hahaz. yeah. nothing much to write about actually. i've just been super busy!! hahaz. it's so super cool and so fun!! hahaz. but, just wanna say some things to some people:

"Jie":please know that we still love you k. no matter what.

my dearest qq: please dont dont dont you ever leave me behind.. it's so strange coming with you not there. please please please come back?

jewel the gem: hold strong and know that we're always here for you.

Gabriel: dont dont dont EVER cut your hair.

Lu: pray girl. pray for her.

that should be all people. i love my God, i love my Pastors and my leaders. and the people around me, and i LOVE MY LIFE!!! pray for our leaders, as Charleston is going in on the 15th! of march.. oh my. and Leonard's going in on the 12th of April. oh my. oh my. oh my. let's all pray they get 8-5 schedules..



Love,
Agnetta.
280207

Valentine's Day!

You know what, it has been the best Valentine's ever for me. I know i said that last year when i went out, but this year far far FAR surpasses all of the previous years put together.

This Year's Valentine was spent with, you guessed it right. with Heart of God Church! If you're wondering if Im an Idiot to wanna spend time with Church and in Church, well, i just gotta say that i think you're the much bigger idiot!! hahaz. for NOT coming.

Well, church had a movie screening today, playing "the perfect man". As my friends were watching inside, i had to stay out to write a card for someone very important to me. They, the SA guys came. actually, only Jem Tan, Jem Ong, and Danny. hahaz. So, had to talk to them hahaz. though i was only halfway through the card that i was making for Jem Tan. So, had to distract them from me. hahaz. then went in with them to watch but had to sneak out. hahaz. Im always so busy!! but you know what!!!???!!! i love every single minute of it!! hahaz. so after the show, I'd finish with the card, prayed over the book, and kept it. hahaz. then we met up and went for dinner, thoough transition was much longer. coz everyone was waiting for me. or so they said they were. hahaz. though i dont know why. hahaz. So we went for dinner. really love spending time with all of them especially Jem Tan!!! hahaz he can set me off laughing by my just thinking of his face. Yet, it also really warms my heart to know that i could do something to change him. Jem Ong is also fun. hahaz. That Lizard man. hahaz. he calls me violent girl. so i call him lizard man. coz he does look likt a lizard!! hahaz.

So, after dinner, went home with Pam, Jem Tan and Danny. So, here's coming my valentine pressies. No.1, from Jem Tan!! hahaz. it was nothing tangible, but it proved a god present as it was to exhibition of shock and surprise as i passed him his present.! He so did not expect it from me! hahaz. that look!! hahaz. and Jem, it's no problem for me. Second pressie was from Danny. Nothing tangible again, but it was when we were walking to the bus interchange, when i was sharing th gospel with him. About Mud wrestling and Cleansing water. It was his questioning and receptiveness that lifted my day.

Who cares about getting tangible Valentine's Day presents?You mean, you'd only love someone on Valentine's Day and none other? And does this also mean that you'd shower them with Presents and love only on this "special" day?

Now i know that the true understanding of Giving is much more rewarding than recieving. I'll tell you what tangible present i recieved. It's actually a rose from Nadine. i think she made it herself. [it's a paper rose, if you're thinking anything.] As i rushed the card for Jeremy, i felt the sense of urgency, but not ont of Panic. As i gave the book away, i felt more glad than when i recieved anything [i usually feel a heart pain when giving things away coz they are usually expensive.] As i walked with Danny to the Bus interchange, we talked alot, and shared alot. what goes on is strictly between us and the leaders only. hahaz. well, it was his openess [if there is such word] that was THE great Valentine's Day present. To give out the Gospel so freely and so openly without restrictions is a wonderful gift. I know truely understand the meaning of giving and not just recieving. and i must say this to all those who recieved more than they gave, i must say, you really should give more. just like me!! hahaz i stayed up till late to make cookies for church. hahaz. and they were made with loads and loads of love, making them so much more nicer than normal cookies!! i think sister evelyn would agree with me!! hahaz.

Well, anyway, just one last footnote you all, Happy Valentine's day and remember to love your Loved ones not just on Valentine's day k..



With Love..




14th February
Agnetta.

junky stuff.

wed was a pretty boring day if i dont remember wrongly. hahaz unless i went for Follow up with leonard. which i really can remember. i think i did. then came thurs which i cancelled my work coz of my pineapple tarts. then cam friday for my results. I went into a state of shock at it. i got 17 for r4 only. haiz. cried. called leonard, cried somemore, talked to Joakim, Melvyn and daryl and cried somemore. they hugged me and made me cry somemore. haiz.

then came Sat. went to church. almost late for CG. haiz. CG WAS SO AWESOME!! hahaz. though i had to forfeit twice. hahaz. nvm i still did my forfeit. hahaz. i was sporting. hahaz. me, eugene and von had to blow tissue in the air. hahaz. diaox. hahaz. that was the first game. then me all the poeple with names starting with A kenna to sing national athem outside in the cafe area. hahaz. so maluating. hahaz. well, maybe not. hahaz. people in church are so sporting that they didnt laugh [well, they did who wouldnt] but they clapped along with us. hahaz. really love you all heart of God. well, i didnt find it maluatin. though i think some did. :P well, that's for CG. then went for lunch. actually more of bought back. CG attendance was pretty lousy as most of the Innova people were coming on Sunday due to their Funfair being held on sat. then later went for dinner. went to meridien, then realised that i didnt have cash on me. so had to borrow from Jem. wanted to borrow from Jem ong, then he didnt have enough so Jem tan took back his 10 bucks, returned it to him and took out 10 from his wallet and passed it to me. hahaz. he's a really nice guy k. dont you anyhow talk about him arhz. then went back to play foosball. hahaz. but someone really demoralised me by being super emo. it was really so demoralising. i didnt know what to do that night. haiz. but when u reached home, i was online and talking to that person. on the way home i was actually thinking to myself.[me Pamela and Samanthan shared a cab back. and they were sleeping. i think everyone was tired.and i couldnt sleep.] was i too something to the extent that people didnt want to talk to me about anything? so when i reached home, i actually wanted him to msg me when we got home, but he didnt, so i had to disturb him about it. then he told me alot of things. then it hit me. God kept the best for me, just as Jesus kept the best wine for last when it ran out. it really broke my heart to hear so many things from him, i didnt expect to. but well, it really help renew his relationship with God, and i'd not have given up the conversation we had for anything.

come Sunday. had usher. and woke up late, coz i was sick haiz. so cab down. though i was suppose to go to ZK's church. so was late by abit. then usher yada yada. then service started. this is the first week that the neither pastors were around. so, our leaders took charge. Dominic, Garrett and Charleston!! hahaz. it's so inspiring to see charleston and the rest rise up. to really lead the church. and it also shows us how much effort the pastors and leaders have out in to bring up such a good church to the extent that we dont need to have the pastors with us. then finish usher. STOCK CHECK!!!! hahaz. really alot of things to count. hahaz and all of us were hungry, so me and alumn got Pam to buy food back for us. hungry hungry. then talking to kinnon and the rest.really love spending time with HOGC man. hahaz. then kinnon made this comment. "drums without skills is noise. Drums with skills is alot of noise!" hahaz. good one. hahaz. then my sister came hahaz. then she went for dinner with Ester they all. then i was talking to Charleston. Feels really good man, judgin by the fact that Charleston doesnt really have much time kind then she came back and were playing foosball hahaz. then me and her were playing, so charleston joined us. he was playing with me. hahaz. then jian ming oso came. hahaz he complain we bully rytha hahaz. so he played with her against us. hahaz!!! hahaz it's really so awesome to spend time with the leaders lorz. it feels really really Good.!!! hahaz. Charleston and myself won the first match, but lost the second one to Jianming and Rytha. though we missed by one point. hahaz. i must say that playing with Charleston is really fun and really uplifting due to the fact that we dont really spend much time with our leaders and they dont have much time to spend with us. really glad to have spent so much time with Charleston. =)

Well, that should be all i think hahaz. so, good night everyone.

12.02.07
Agnetta.

New year...... and new month also

I know. it's one week past New year. I just haven't had time ti post anything actually. I've been caling people up, bursting my phone bill for this, askin people out, working my arse off, going to church, [nothing bad to say bout that] and not getting enough sleep. For once, I'm not able to sleep for someone else other than myself. hahz.

Well, New Year!!!!!
1st: Create and Heart Awards!!
2nd: work at home. sianz.
3rd: brought my bro to school and yada yada.
4th. work at woodlands.
5th:got my cupboard done, or measured more like. Called some guys up to go watch movie on sat.
6th: work in the morning. went to church. suppose to watch movie but canceled coz JS not free. then went to serangoon to celebrate cousin's bdae.

7th: toda's my mom's birthday. bought her a apple strudel which served as her cake.

OKIE..
I'm going to stop here since i didn't post since seriously long time ago, msybe just want in the mood. hahaz.

But, the thing i really wanna blog about is hahaz, you're going to think this is so weird. hahaz. It is [watching the ASEAN CUP finals, Singapore Thailand match in church with the guys.] hahaz. i was the only girl there as i didnt want to go home early that night. so i waited, and ended up in the auditorium watching with the guys. and i was like th only girl. Though, i can say this, it really is an experience. When Singapore scored their last goal, the guys in front stood up and cheered. and i must tell youm church guys are pretty tall. hahaz. they like blocked half my screen. well, i wasn't really paying attention. hahaz it's just cause they just shouted goal. hahaz, and when i looked up, half my view was blocked by Ivan in front. He's like 185. totally a giant compared to me, bit, well, it's ok. hahaz. I'm secure. hahaz I'm cute. hahaz. Well, that shout was what caught me attention then. hahaz. we watched till it passed the 90 mins mark and everyone in the Audi was yelling!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Seriously loudly. hahaz. Pastor How actually came and watched with us for awhile too. hahaz. The best part of it was atually after the match. hahaz. when all the atmosphere [in church] had settled down already, they were showing all the players and one of the singapore players had a singlet that he had on [he took off his shirt] and on it read :[JESUS LOVES ME]!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! hahaz. all of us stood up, clapped and cheered and yelled!!! hahaz. how true how true. Jesus does love him. hahaz. it was so refreshing to see something like that on international TV. I'm sure that all who watched the match in HOGC would agree with me on that too. After that i went home.

Well, if anyone was wondering why I so dislike going home is due to the negativity at home. The previous night before, i came home a little pass my 11 curfew. [i have a good reason for that i was with an integration who was waiting for his bus as we left church around 10
+.] by the time i reached home was 11+ and my mom was nagging for me bursting the curfew. I was alright with it, coz i understood where she was coming from. what i could not stand was when she said this to me:"it's the church that's stupid" i actually said something before that but i cant really remember what. so i had opened the fridge, and i was holding on to a metal bar. All of you should know that a metal bar in the fridge will be cold right, so as i held on i answered back:" then isn't that indirectly calling me stupid?" And her reply to that was:"when you're with them, yea" I was holding on to a cold metal bar. when i heard her reply, my hand froze over. i was colder than the bar i was holding on to. I didn't want to let go and close the fridge to see her. Next was my sister. I brought her to church and she got saved. I heard it from Leonard, Ivan P., Peishan and Ester. So i told her, why go get a Japanese class? she said i dont wanna go. thinking it was the jap class which couldnt be, i asked her where hse didnt wanna go. she said: "dun wanna go church lorz. every week go there" i was so angry i just said to here i know you raised up your hands during the altar call. her reply to that was: "i just raise up my hand only what" I was so angry i almost slapped her. all i could say was if you wanna do something, do it sincerely not just because you feel like. She replied with something i couldn't here, or maybe i didnt want to hear. Lastly came my dad. I asked him [while controlling my temper at my sister] whether he was using my attic. i was very nice about it too. with the fact i was angry. he said why? i said i needed to make a call, :" to who?" my leaders. he got angry with me!!!!!!!!!! for what!!!???
what did i do????? he just yelled at me:"those people are controlling your life!!!" i was msging an integration and i couldnt even be bothered to look at him anymore. All i did was keep all my things that i had taken out of my bag and out them all back in, went to my room, closed and double locked my door. Perhaps smoke was issuing from my head already. hahaz, i dont know, but it really felt like. So i called Leonard, we were suppose to have a conference about the CG attendance on sunday, which was the day of the Finals of the Asean Cup. I called him 10 mins before the conference and i was THIS close to crying... wonderful..

Well, fast forward to monday, since Sunday is already gone. just a joke, we had 3 people for sunday service! hahaz imagine that!! 3!!!!! hahaz. Well, monday monday.. I went to work. i was suppse to shadow JOn in school in the morning, but i really couldnt. felt like dying. hahaz So, went to work with Amol at 2-4..Leefang was there. can die sia. then rushed down to Woodlands to work on Ashwin. A more productive one, and i will not drop him coz Pastor How preached on not turning of the fire, and he's like at 98% already, so im not turning off the fire. hahz. after that, went to SSS! Singapore Sports School. hahaz. To watch SAJC play soccer against SSS. well, the score was 5-1. It was trashed. Well, they are the national team under 15 yeah, so.. well..nothing can be said.. hahaz. well, SA scored!!! and that 's 2 days in a row i watched soccer. hahaz. weird.. And Jem Tan bluff us larz. hahaz, Jem, if you're reading this, this's for you. hahaz. you bluff me larz. say alot of people going. hahaz. so, i didnt really wanna go alone, so i got xueli to go with me. Thank goodness i did. hahaz. Coz.............. we were the ONLY!!!!! get that.. ONLY Saint Andrews supporters there. ....-.-" hahaz. then pam came late, so Xueli had to go "pick her up" from the front gate. hahaz. so i was left alone. hahaz. But all in all it was a good game. Jeremy Ong played well, for the first half then started slacking.. i think all of them got demoralized.. hahaz. Kuoloon played really well too. hahaz. Yi Jie didn't play, coz of injury. Dany played second half. hahaz Jiahui didnt play. i think jing hui didnt play as well hahaz. But, we did have fun after the match when we went for dinner. hahaz. Jiahui and his magic tricks. hahaz. and jeremy and his crappiness. hahaz. it really took the demorality[i dont even know if this is a word.] out of everyone. ha. really had loads of fun with them. the SA bunch is super fun to be with man... Jiahui also. hahaz farny arhz jiahui. the story was that one of them actually used a vulgar word and jiahui went: "hey hey here got christian arhz, shh larhz.. holy ground holy ground." hahaz. Although meant as a joke, i think Jiahui was really nice to say about that. he really stopped the guys from using language man. hahaz. well done Jiahui!! =)

Now about today.. Well, i didn't sleep early last night, that's all i can say. hahaz. but still had to wake up early. haiz. went to shadow my brother. hahaz. then went to work: Amol, then went for CG with D4. well, it really is my moment man. hahaz. last night i was really tired, so i did a shorter QT, and i remember saying, God, please let me not be late for CG with D4. by your miracles. This morning, Amol's mom msged me and said, hey we have an open slot today, would you llike to come earlier? hahaz!!! God indeed delivers, all you need is FAITH!!! i have it. do you? hahaz. so, i went to work, then went for CG. only problem of the morning was that my mom seemed to be blowing every problem on me! she said that no one was able to help my brother.. and here i am helping other kids but not my own brother. Does she think that i feel bad about not having anyone do Jon too? then it's also my fault that i can't shadow him all the way because i put other kids in front of my own brother. If this was in a work senario, which do you think is more important? i couldnt tell her i was going for CG after work, hence i had to push forward my work. Well, it was coz the therapist of that day was sick and no one could take my brother for today, and when i went home i founf out that tml's therapist actually had a slot open for today, so she came. God delivers. what does she not see??? Well, back to CG. i got to know some new people, and also to know some people whom i knew already, better. Fifi was preaching today. She's pretty good. =) farny too. hahaz.And we were disturbing Darryl Seah, coz he tore his school shorts trying to kick someone. hahaz so now we know Darryl's secrets. hhaz. The CG comprised mostly of Cat high guys. hahaz. farny bunch or people man.. and everyone's so shocked i have sized two feet. hahaz. Jun Jie was like "oh and her shoe size is two.." i was laughing. and everyone else went HUH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! HAHAZ. so they were like realy anot.. so Fifi asked me to stick out my leg. hahaz. and they were comparing my feet size to one of their friend's hand size. hahaz i think he's hand will be bigger than my feet, since Alumn's hand's already the size of my foot. hahaz. and theyh were like: " wa how you buy shoe sia" hahaz. it's fun to be the centre of attraction sometimes. hahaz.. but CG was cool and very fun. =) really had alot of fun with the guys. hahaz. there were only 7 girls. hahaz including Fifi. hahaz. in short, CG with D4 plus Ongah, Minghan and Liz was fun.. hahaz. cool... and totally awesome!!
hahaz.. then played foosball with ongah. cant defend and attacked so so only. hahaz. it's fun to play with them. it's so entertaining. hahahahaz. to watch is also fun. hahaz after that, went for dinner with huiqi, jacky, lucinda and 2 others i dont know, hahaz. then bounced, and went back home hahaz. and here i am.
hahaz.




Well that's just an update. for now at least. people, plan your life k.. like me. hahaz. Routines! and Process!!FOCUS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Hahaz, that should be all people, pray for me for my results k? thankz. hahaz.













Love,
Agnetta.
060207
[It's a New Year!!!]

Create and Heart Awards!!! Heart of God Church Rawks people!!!